Success or Failure–Which are You? And What Can You Do About It?
You know what I’m talking about.
You feel it everyday when you wake up and go to a job that doesn’t feed your soul. Or when you’re struggling to send your kids to the summer camp all of their friends are going to. Or when, on the outside your family looks like it’s doing well—you have the new car, the house with the pool, but you’re secretly drowning in debt or feel like you’ve sold your soul to stay afloat.
Or maybe your income is great and your life fulfilling, mostly, aside from this feeling that eats away at you everyday that you’re here for something greater, but either you don’t know what it is, or if you do, you have no idea how to live your purpose.
What does that say about you?
That you’re a big, fat failure?
That you’re never going to make the income you desire, or the difference you know you were here to make?
What is it exactly that makes you feel like a failure? And what in the hell can you do about it?
When that sense of not feeling good enough consumes you in subtle—or overt—ways everyday, it’s a mindset worth changing. Because that’s what it is. A way of thinking.
A pattern.
Did you know that men are motivated primarily to change by criticism, but women are motivated by praise?
When was the last time you were praised? When was the last time you bragged—yes, bragged—about an accomplishment and didn’t feel guilty about it? When was the last time that someone paid you a compliment, and instead of demurring or downright denying it, you actually received it? Felt it in your heart?
But what if there was no success? No failure? What if this life of yours is perfect exactly as it is?
Success is not a dollar amount, or a 6500 square foot house like the one I’m currently visiting thanks to a friend. Success is how you feel in this moment. Success is when you feel alive, connected, and luminous. Success is internal. And what success feels like can change. Ask your grandmother. Her concept of personal success changed over the years.
The next time you’re feeling like a failure, will you try this? Write down 21—yes, it has to be at least 21—ways you’ve succeeded in your lifetime. It can be when you were a kid and made your grandfather laugh. Or when you won the school spelling bee. Or when you graduated from college, had your child, or got a promotion. Maybe it was the first time you meditated for more than 5 minutes or did a downward dog with flat feet (which I’ve yet to do). Whatever it is, write it down.
Once you do that, what comes up for you? Did you cry? Laugh? Feel nothing?
What was the hardest thing about committing 21 successes to paper? And now that you’re done, how do you feel? What inspired action can you take today to feel successful?
Tell us below. We don’t bite; I promise.