The Ultimate Gift Guide for Supporting a Loved One: Gifts for Someone Recovering from Surgery or Cancer

When someone you love is faced with life-threatening illness and surgery, knowing what to do and how to help isn’t always obvious. You desperately want to help but may have no idea where to start. If you’re looking for thoughtful gifts for someone recovering from surgery, you’re not alone. Whether your loved one is facing cancer treatment or healing from a major procedure, finding the right support can feel overwhelming. This guide is here to help you choose meaningful, practical, and comforting gifts to ease their journey.

And it’s the little things that you can do that make a difference. Finding meaningful ways to show you care contributes to your loved one’s healing journey more than you know.

Between the fall of 2022 and the summer of 2023, my husband was diagnosed with a pituitary tumor (near the brain) and I was diagnosed with colon cancer. Within 12 months, we both had major surgeries (two for me) that required long-distance travel and significant post-surgical recovery. 

Those experiences, along with the many other surgeries I and my family have had related to a cancer-causing genetic condition called Lynch Syndrome, inspired me to put together this list of resources and supports you can gift to the loved ones in your life facing surgery or hospital stays.

In this guide, you’ll find thoughtful gestures and practical support that can ease your loved one’s medical journey. You’ll start with getting to and from the hospital or treatment center, and then cover helpful ideas for during the hospital stay, before rounding the corner for resources once your loved one is home.

And before we’re done, you’ll see a few examples of gift basket ideas to make your life a little easier. And put a smile on the face of your loved one. 🙂

General Guidelines: 

You have the best of intentions to support your loved one – and now may be when they need your support more than ever. 

Here are a few guidelines to ensure that your gift enhances their experience instead of being an unexpected burden to them.

  • Your loved one may have less energy than usual to text, talk, or have communication of any sort. Remember all of their energy is supporting their complete healing, body, mind and soul. So one of the most important things you can do is to release any expectation that your loved one will reach out to you in thanks or reciprocity. Offer them this time to have their healing journey and know that they’ll be in contact when they can.

  • A gift that requires involvement or participation may feel like more of a burden than a gift. After my cancer diagnosis (which you may also hear me refer to as my God Spark), my brain didn’t function as it had before. I could no longer think in the ways that I had up until that point. And after my partial colectomy, I had to remove all sensory input in order to heal. That meant no texts, calls, emails, very limited television, and only soft soothing music if any at all. I didn’t speak on the phone to anyone outside of my immediate family or on my medical team for about two months. And although my business had relied on social media and Zoom, I needed to remove those experiences too. So before sending your loved one a gift that requires them to place an order or interact with someone else, even if that’s a delivery person, please confirm that it will feel good to them.

  • Don’t discount the emotional toll a significant illness can take, both on your loved one and on those caring for, or living with, them. They may need support long after their body has healed. I wrote about my experience with post-surgical depression (and will link to that here soon in case it’s helpful.) Please continue to reach out, even if they don’t respond right away, letting them know they’re still in your heart.

  • Please remember those who are caring for your loved one. They will need meals even when your loved one isn’t yet back to eating a regular diet. The caregivers will be spending much of their time taking care of your loved one and will benefit from prepared meals and respite care.

Travel Assistance:

Traveling to and from the hospital or medical center can be stressful no matter if the trip is just across town or across the continent.

My husband and I had to travel thousands of miles for the specialized care needed for each of our conditions. (His is a rare one that fewer than 5,000 people in the U.S. have.) And we were incredibly thankful for those who supported us to make that happen.

Here are a few gift ideas to support your loved one as they travel.

  • Travel points – These can be transferred for plane tickets, hotels, etc.

  • Airport lounge gift passes – Being at the airport when you’re sick or after a procedure can feel exhausting. And getting out of the swarm of people at the gate and having a comfortable place to sit can feel like a blessing. Each airport lounge has specific guidelines for members vs. nonmembers, so be sure to check them out first to ensure your loved one will be able to use the passes.

  • Hotel stays – If your loved one needs to be away from home, they may appreciate a few days in a hotel that meets their needs, such as being close to the hospital, having a shuttle, quiet rooms away from noisy highways or parties, or suites with small kitchens to accommodate dietary requirements. 

  • Home stays – Having a suitable, healing place to stay after surgery cannot be emphasized enough. It was one of the most thoughtful and transformative gifts we received. And to be honest, without it, my husband may not have been able to have the surgery he needed. A friend’s mother lived near the hospital where the only surgeon who did the procedure my husband needed for such a large tumor was located. She very kindly allowed us to have full use of her house for three weeks, the amount of time we needed to be in California for surgery and recovery. 

  • Credits for car services – This can be a specific car service you pay for or an app-based service like Lyft to get your loved one where they need to go. For instance, they may need to have testing done prior to surgery. Often this happens at multiple facilities and without easy transportation feel like a burden. 

  • Car rental – If your loved one has someone who can drive them, consider contributing toward a car rental or covering it. 

  • Your car – Another incredible gift we received was from friends who let us borrow their cars while we were so far from home. With that gift, I was able to take my husband to all of his pre-surgical appointments, the actual surgery, and post-surgical appointments, not to mention simply getting out in nature for small walks after his surgery, picking up groceries, etc. 

  • Gift cards for gas and food along the way – When you’re traveling, comfort food is, well, comforting. 🙂 And when one of our friends gave us a Starbucks gift card for the road, we had no idea how much of a gift it would be. Just knowing that someone cares is its own kind of healing.

  • Rides to and from the doctor, hospital, or treatment facility – If your loved one lives close, offer rides wherever they may need to go. 

  • Meal Train: Local or distance – You may be familiar with providing food for someone who comes home from the hospital with a new baby or after someone passes away. Meal Train takes that to the next level. As a friend or family member, you can set up a page where other friends and family can sign up to provide meals. One caveat: After talking with lots of recovering patients who didn’t always feel well enough to receive guests or stay up late for meal delivery, if you choose this route, please provide a meal that can be dropped off in a convenient place for the caregiver to retrieve, rather than expecting to interact with the recovering patient. And, Meal Train still works if you’re far from home. For my husband’s recovery, I set up a page via Meal Train where people could donate an amount to a meal delivery service like DoorDash, GrubHub, UberEats, or Whole Foods groceries instead of providing prepared food. Meal Train is free at its most basic level. I chose Meal Train Plus, which gave me the option to request more than one meal per day in addition to other needs, such as lawn care, cleaning help, errands, etc.

  • Packing cubes – These are super helpful for your loved one to organize their luggage or hospital bag, and help to keep items clean and away from hospital surfaces. And when the airline damages your bag and you have to repack into a new suitcase on the floor of the San Francisco airport, they make that experience sooo much easier. 🙂 

  • Neck pillow – You’ve seen neck pillows like these meant for travel. They can also be used for more comfortable sleeping in the hospital and at home since most often, after surgery, your loved one will spend a significant amount of time sitting up, whether they are sleeping or not. 🙂

  • Pillows for car and airplane trips – I used this one after surgery to prevent the seatbelt from being too tight.

Recovery Tools and Practical Aids:

  • Baggy clothing: Depending on what type of surgery, treatment, or procedure your loved one is having, they may need specialized clothing for in the hospital, returning from the hospital, or once at home. For instance, robes, pants with elastic waistbands or very loose waistbands, loose shirts, or button-up shirts, nightgowns, dresses, etc. may be needed. Since my recent cancer surgery required five incisions on my abdomen, I knew once I got to where I was staying for recovery after I left the hospital, I would want clothing that had zero fabric touching my waist. I purchased this dress to wear as a nightgown because I liked the wording (Faith is my middle name), and when I had to walk down the apartment hallway in it, I felt a little more dressed than I would have in a regular nightgown. 

  • Gum – This is the easiest, least expensive, and most helpful gift to give. After anesthesia, most hospitals won’t allow patients to go home until after they’ve been able to go the bathroom (in case you didn’t know that). Chewing gum helps prevent the negative side effects pain medications cause. So, pro tip: walking + chewing gum = much happier patient even once they’re home.

  • Eye mask – Whether your loved one is in the hospital for a day or a week, it’s nearly impossible to sleep with all of the lights, sounds, and interruptions. An eye mask can help then and once at home. I used one after the partial colectomy surgery and was surprised when the nurse told me she hadn’t interrupted me at certain times because my mask was on, so I was able to get more rest.

  • Earplugs, Earbuds, or Headphones – Just like the eye mask, these are virtually required if you want your loved one to get any rest. The type of earbud or headphone is a personal preference. And for me, I liked earbuds vs. earplugs simply because I listened nonstop to the post-surgical healing meditation I’ve been listening to after each surgery for decades. 

  • Pre- and Post- Surgical Healing Meditations – My first major surgery was when I was in my 30s. And ever since then, I’ve been listening to an audio called “Meditations to Promote Successful Surgery,” by Belleruth Naparstek which has a meditation that you listen to as often as possible for a few weeks before surgery, and then affirmations that you listen to as you recover. I made sure my husband heard the affirmations as soon as I could after he was out of his own surgery. And I got help from the nurse to get my earbuds and phone to listen to mine as soon as I was in the long-term recovery unit.

  • Small reading light – It’s great when the hospital is dark and your loved one can rest, but if they need to find their glasses, or rearrange the blankets, or even find the nurse call button (this was a huge problem after my husband’s surgery), they may need a small light that attaches to a book, the bed, or nearby. 

  • Neck light – When there’s not an easily accessible place for a reading light, or if your loved one needs a closer light for reading or other activities, a neck light is a great option. It’s also helpful for reading in bed when you don’t want to interrupt someone beside you. 

  • Night light – After surgery, your loved one may be getting up at all hours of the night, and given the type of surgery and medication they’re on, they may need more help seeing than usual. Lights like these allow them to get where they’re going safely.

  • Anti-nausea wristbands – There are so many nausea-inducing experiences at the hospital including surgery, blood draws, strong smells, medications, listening to others vomiting nearby, you name it, that you can never be too prepared for nausea. By the time your loved one gets medication for it, it may be too late. And the last thing you want to do after major surgery is vomit. It’s excruciating. Trust me. These wristbands push on acupressure points to help prevent nausea. They’re great for friends and family experiencing morning sickness too. 

  • Touchscreen gloves or fingerless gloves – Hospitals are notoriously cold. And add to that a frigid surgical suite, certain medications, lack of circulation from being mostly in bed, and a host of other things, and your loved one may be colder than they expect. Thin gloves they can wear inside or fingerless gloves that let them use their hands more normally may be welcomed. My daughter knitted fingerless gloves for me and I was very thankful. 

  • White noise or nature sound machines – Mini or travel versions of sound machines are godsends no matter where your loved one is trying to rest or recuperate. Inevitably, hotels are louder than expected. (We had a large family party going on half the night when we visited the MD Anderson Cancer Center in Texas and a dog that never stopped barking at another visit.) Even when home, your loved one will have a greater sense of privacy in the bedroom or bathroom when needed, and better sleep when they require rest during the day when everyone else is on a regular schedule.

  • Medication organizer – The first few days it’s incredibly important that your loved one have a caregiver with them to help administer medications in addition to any other care needed. A medication organizer helps keep everyone on track when there are so many data points to keep track of such as fluid in, fluid out, medication dosages, vital signs, etc.

  • Heating pad or ice packs – Depending on the type of surgery your loved one is having, they may benefit from a heating pad or ice pack, or one that can be used as either. For me, the heating pad helped ease my post-surgical abdominal pain. And unlike the one I had left at home not knowing I would need it, this one, which I ordered while I was recovering at my daughter’s apartment near Boston, was soft and pliable and helped me sleep. 

  • Non-skid indoor/outdoor slippers or slip-on walking shoes – Walking after surgery is one of the most important things your loved one can do. In the beginning, they’ll likely need assistance from the nursing assistant or you, but no matter when and where they walk, they’ll need safe shoes to do it in. And most likely, they’ll need footwear they can slip their tootsies into. After my husband’s surgery, he could not bend forward due to the incredible pressure in his head from the transsphenoidal procedure and the complications he could create. And I couldn’t bend due to the five abdominal incisions. Not to mention that after many procedures, your loved ones feet may be too swollen for their regular shoes. So, we made sure to have shoes that either we could slip on by ourselves or our caregiver (each other) could put on for us without having to tie and untie them. 

  • Bed wedge pillow – Don’t underestimate how complicated resting or sleeping can be for your loved one after a major medical event. For different reasons, both my husband and I needed to sleep semi-reclining. Since we didn’t have a hospital bed at either of the homes where we recovered, we purchased a huge wedge pillow that made life easier in ways you can’t imagine. 

  • Personal Medical Items – Let’s get personal. There will be medical supplies your loved one needs that 1. They may not know about until after the surgery when they get home. 2. They may not want to tell you about. For example, patients who’ve undergone complete colectomies will need ostomy supplies. Some patients may need over-the-counter medications or comfort items to help with bleeding, bruising, sleeping, hemorrhoids, you name it. And it may make everyone more comfortable if your gift to them allows discretion. What we most appreciated for these kinds of items were electronic Amazon gift cards that offered delivery straight to where we were recovering. 

  • Handrails for the bath or shower – Falling is never good. And it’s especially scary when you already feel your health is compromised. After any procedure, your loved one may feel off balance and you want to help them avoid a fall at all costs. Before my husband’s surgery, his brother was kind enough to install railings in our home shower. And we were incredibly blessed that the home we stayed in immediately after his surgery was set up with accessibility in mind, including a shower that would accommodate a chair or wheelchair. There are railings that need to be installed directly into the studs behind the shower walls, and ones that suction in place. The suction-based ones have weight limits and may require extra supervision when your loved one is in the bath. Please test these carefully.

  • Shower chair – After a procedure, it may be difficult for your loved one to stand in the shower. Or they may need to position themselves in a way that the water does not hit incisions, casts, etc. An adjustable shower chair can help immensely and may be most helpful if you don’t know the specific measurements for your loved one’s shower or bath. Our house is 100 years old and has the original, narrow cast iron tub. And this shower chair was the only one that would fit. In the past, we’ve used plastic outdoor chairs when a shower chair wasn’t available. Again, safety is first. Please test any chairs you use.

  • Squatty Potty Fold-N- Stow – A client and friend who is a colon hydrotherapist introduced me to the Squatty Potty years ago, and I found this portable version before my recent surgery. To be frank, not all commodes are the same height and that can create discomfort or even pain for your loved one. And as I said before, one of the most important health needs after anesthesia is proper digestion and elimination. The Squatty Potty can help your loved one heal faster.

  • Trash can – Since when is a trash can a good gift? After procedures, there’s often a lot of medical waste to dispose of at home and having some discretion can help everyone in the household feel more comfortable. I found this small trash can that opens and closes without touching, which helps keep the bathroom as sanitary as possible. It does have a small-ish opening, but it is large enough for ostomy supplies, diapers, bandages, etc. It works well for us. You may want to consider a larger size depending on the needs of your loved one. 

  • Lidocaine – One thing I wasn’t prepared for after my recent surgery was that I’d need blood thinner shots every day for 21 days. My husband was a trooper to administer them, and we were both thrilled when the 21 days were over. 🙂 I tried lidocaine patches and gels. They didn’t magically make the shots pain free, but they did help a little. 

  • Hand or body lotion – Being in the hospital, being on a restricted diet, being without fluids all enhance dehydration and your loved one’s skin can feel dry and uncomfortable. A thick unscented lotion or cream can be a real balm since scents may trigger nausea.

  • YouTube video on getting out of bed – If your loved one has had abdominal surgery, this video may be helpful. The hospital where I had my surgery sent me home less than 24 hours after surgery and without instructions on how to get into and out of bed without pain. In all honesty, I didn’t cry before, during, or after the surgery – until I was so frustrated and in such excruciating pain that I couldn’t get out of bed. So I did a little research and these instructions helped a lot. The caveat to this gift is that too many resources can feel overwhelming to your loved one. So please ask their permission before sharing this or other “helpful” books, audios, dietary suggestions, etc.

  • Walking sticks – Usually I use these for hiking, but they were also helpful after I had surgery when I broke my wrist a few years ago. They can be used indoors or outside and, depending on your loved one, may be preferable to a cane when they need a little extra support walking.

  • Mini trampoline – Before and after surgery (when light exercise is safe), a small trampoline can be helpful to get the lymphatic and digestive systems going, as well as to serve as an alternative to walking outside when the weather is bad. The one I have is foldable and portable. However, it takes a lot of strength to pack it up or set it up, so I have only used it at home.

Nourishment and Wellness Boosters:

  • Meal supplements or replacements – Regardless of the type of procedure your loved one has, keeping up calorie intake can sometimes feel impossible. Liquid replacement drinks like Ensure, Boost, and their generic equivalents can sometimes help. Each person will have their own dietary requirements, so these may not work for everyone. Personally, I used Orgain the first few days after surgery and during travel when I couldn’t have solid food. And I provided Ensure for my aunt after she returned home after months in the hospital from COVID. I added the chocolate ones to coffee or Teeccino mushroom tea in the morning for extra protein.

  • Nutritional supplements – Like all foods, it’s important to make sure your loved one would benefit from different types of vitamins, herbs, and nutritional supplements before purchasing. After my colon cancer diagnosis, I began taking Essiac in supplement form. (It’s also available as a tea.) It’s been around for a long time and has a bit of a cult following for its anti-cancer properties. With this and any “food” please confirm with your loved one and their doctor to make sure it’s safe for them. Remember, I’m not a doctor and this is not medical advice. I’m simply sharing my experience.

  • Home juicer – Homemade organic juices can be an important part of your loved one getting the vitamins and nutrition they need, especially when solid foods are too difficult to eat or they’re on liquid only diets. Home juicers come in multiple types and a huge range of prices up into the thousands of dollars for certain ones recommended for some anti-cancer protocols. This juicer is relatively inexpensive and has been a hit in our home. Before purchasing, please check with your loved ones about their nutritional needs since not everyone tolerates juices.

  • Fresh juices – If your loved one doesn’t have someone who can make juices for them, or isn’t up to doing it for themselves, pre-made organic juices are the next best thing.

  • VitaMix – I bought my first VitaMix, actually it’s been my only VitaMix, when my daughter was three years old and we learned she had Celiac disease. (You can read about that here.) That was 17 years ago and we still use it all the time. If your loved one can tolerate fiber, a VitaMix may be a better choice than a juicer given the sheer number of foods you can prepare with it, from protein and nutrient dense smoothies, to nut milks and butters, to hot soups, to ice creams. Again, they come in a range of prices from a few hundred dollars to over a thousand, based on the level of performance and number of accessories. If I had only one appliance in my kitchen, this would be it.

  • Electric kettle – Hot tea, a fave in my house, is made extra simple with a kettle like this that allows your loved one (or you if you’re caring for them) to choose the temperature needed to make a cup of breakfast tea in the morning, green tea during the day, and in our house sleepy type teas at night. Green tea for instance, is known for its antioxidant properties, and herbal teas can be helpful for all sorts of health experiences. The kettle is especially helpful if your loved one doesn’t have a microwave or chooses not to use one and it’s safer than heating water on the stove. The kettles can be heavy, especially when filled with water, so if your loved one is in the early days of recovery, they may need someone to fill the kettle and pour the water.

  • Teas – There are too many types of teas to name but they can be one of the most beneficial ways to help your loved one stay hydrated. I prefer unsweetened teas (sometimes with a little raw honey if appropriate for your loved one). The pre-bagged ones may be easiest during recovery, such as this one that helps with constipation, and these which are tasty substitutes for coffee. For those who want to avoid extra packaging, an infuser like this can be used for homegrown herbs like mint or for purchased loose teas.

  • Water pitcher with filter – Clean water is a true gift. And while not everyone has access to filtered water, this pitcher makes it more accessible. I purchased one when I was recovering from the partial colectomy and staying with my daughter in her apartment outside of Boston. When filled it can be heavy for someone who’s just had surgery, so a caregiver may need to fill it and pour it. At home, we have this filtration system to provide healthier water. It requires installation so would need to be taken care of when it would not be a burden to your loved one.

  • Light cups with lids and straws – After each of my surgeries, I’ve been surprised at how weak I’ve felt. Although I prefer not to use plastic, before this most recent surgery, I bought a set of plastic cups with lids and straws. Technically, they’re meant for kids, but they were a huge help when regular glasses were too heavy. I could pour my own drinks, and once sitting back down, not spill them. 🙂

  • Bed tray – It’s important for your loved one to have what they need within reach. Any flat surface will work to convert a side of the bed or a couch cushion into a temporary table. And a bed tray (or laptop desk) can raise what they need to an easier height for reading, meals, etc.

  • Snacks – After surgery, it may be difficult or medically unadvised to eat large meals. It can also be difficult to take in enough calories or the kinds of nutrients that are needed. That’s when snacks based on your loved one’s specific dietary needs can be helpful. Please check with them about their nutritional requirements, but foods like individual nut butters, apple sauces, or protein bars can be good to have on hand.

  • Prepared food delivery services – This may be the first thing you think of when you want to send a gift to a loved one especially if they’re far away. Services like GrubHub, DoorDash, UberEats, etc. can be helpful with a little forethought. Not all services are available in all areas. We were able to use these services when we were in larger cities, but where we live, they only deliver fast food, which isn’t the most beneficial for recovery. Another complication is, will your loved one be able to receive the food? My daughter lived in a large condo complex with a security door which meant someone had to be available to go downstairs and get the food before it got cold or text or talk to the driver to make sure it was delivered to the right place. And in some areas, not all deliveries may be safe, so if you choose this option, please confirm with your loved one that they’ll be able to receive the food without it being burdensome for them.

  • Amazon Fresh – While all of the different Amazon offerings can get confusing, they can be some of the most convenient ways for your loved one to order foods (and other essentials). Amazon Fresh has physical stores and home delivery in larger metropolitan areas with delivery sometimes as fast as one hour. They offer free sign up, and loved ones do not have to be an Amazon Prime member to place an order, though the delivery fees are higher.

  • Whole Foods Delivery – Whole Foods, in person and delivery, was the service we used most often next to Amazon. While we don’t have a Whole Foods where we live, we had easy access to them both outside of Boston, MA and Palo Alto, CA where we had surgery. When we couldn’t get out, we could order and receive food within a few hours. And when a caregiver could get out, it allowed for healthier options than most prepared food delivery services. Given the significant food restrictions we both had, ordering groceries allowed us to get what we needed.

  • Amazon Digital Gift Cards for supplies and food – Your loved one may need foods, supplements, and other health items they didn’t anticipate before surgery. An Amazon card is the most flexible to help them with those needs. They can use a digital card to order Whole Foods delivery (although they can’t use the card balance in the Whole Foods store and will need a Whole Foods gift card for that), in addition to most everything else they need.

Comfort and Relaxation Essentials:

Once surgery is over, recovery begins. And helping your loved one be as comfortable as possible will help them heal even more quickly. Here are a few ideas for an extended hospital stay or once they’ve returned to where they’re recovering.

  • Reading pillow – These are useful for sitting up in bed at home or in the hotel, as well as for being upright for eating, etc. Back in the day we called them “husbands.” Now they’re just reading pillows :). Keep in mind if your loved one is traveling, they may not have room to transport large items.

  • Comfy blanket – You can’t underestimate the comfort a soft, snuggly blanket can provide. Before my surgery, a new friend showed up at my house with the softest blush pink blanket I’d ever felt, in its own matching bag. I took the bag with me to the hospital filled with everything I thought I’d need. And because I have a background in medicine and used to work at the hospital, I didn’t want the blanket to get germs on it, so I really appreciated the bag for keeping it as clean as possible.

  • Warm socks or comfy socks with traction – After surgery your loved one may be colder than usual. And they may not be able to wear regular shoes for lots of reasons, but you want them to be comfortable and safe. Having a variety of socks, including pilates style socks with grippy soles and compression socks (which I had to wear once home) allows them to choose what they need in the moment.

  • Reading glasses (if needed) – If your loved one is of the age to need reading glasses, an extra pair of these may be helpful, especially in the early hours after surgery. Even if you don’t know exactly what magnification to get, a pair in the medium range may be helpful in dark hospital rooms when the nurses and techs ask if the name and birthdate on your wristband is accurate. Don’t ask me how I know. 😉

  • Call button or bell – After surgery when your loved one’s voice may be weak and they may have limited mobility, they need to be able to “call out” and get assistance. And while a cell phone can be useful, it may also be too complicated for someone who is disoriented from pain medications or too uncomfortable to text or call. This old fashioned bell works great without the need for additional tech. Of course call buttons are also an option. 

  • Small decorations for extended hospital stays – A family member of mine shared that the best gift they received during an extended hospital stay was a small Christmas tree with lights that they could turn on. That small gesture brought them a sense of love and connection they much needed. 

  • Bag of peppermints (or other candies) – Every patient has different needs and not all will want or be able to have hard candies, but for those who can they report appreciating them for helping to stave off hospital yuck mouth. 🙂 You may check with them or their caregiver to find out if sugar-free candies are preferred.

  • Small personal kindnesses – A small act of kindness can go a long way in helping your loved one feel loved, or even feel a little more human again after surgery or treatment. When my mom was at home on Hospice care, I rubbed her feet with lotion and painted her nails. Those activities can be done without talking when talking is painful or tiring. So many loved ones undergoing medical treatment feel isolated and desperately need physical touch. Providing these small services they can’t do for themselves, like rubbing their feet, filing their nails, or washing their hair feeds both of your souls.

  • Books – Books are highly personal. And when recovering, not everyone will have the energy to read a physical or electronic book. For those who do, what do they love to read? What would feel inspiring to them? Are they in the middle of a series they’d like the next installment of? Of course, you could also choose a gift card for an online bookstore like Barnes and Noble or Amazon, or their favorite local bookstore, and let them choose for themselves.

  • Journal – Journaling has been a huge part of my life since I was a kid. And years ago, I facilitated Artist’s Way groups that use Morning Pages, a specific type of journaling, as transformational opportunities. Your loved one is facing their own transformational opportunity through the medical journey they are on, and a journal that’s lovely to look at and solid to hold may offer them moments of peace and healing. Throw in a pen that’s easy to write with and they’ll have everything they need.

  • Aromatherapy kits or essential oils – These come in all scents and can be used in diffusers, on pillow cases, in drawers, and in some cases on skin or in food. When you’re sick, the smells can be overpowering and kits like this one that includes a wearable bracelet, can help your loved one feel a little more human.

  • Essential oil diffuser – Diffusers are a great way to help visitors, caregivers, and patients feel better. Your sense of smell is connected to the limbic system in your brain and certain smells can enhance mood and positive emotions, leading to faster healing for the patient and a more positive experience for everyone in the home. I used this diffuser after surgery once back at my daughter’s for recovery, and I still use it now. 

  • Indoor plants – Once your loved one is home, indoor plants are balms of healing especially when your loved one can’t get outside often, if at all. Please check to make sure they can have live plants. Patients undergoing some treatments are advised not to. And if your loved one has allergies, fresh plants and flowers might trigger incredibly painful sneezes. (Take it from me ;). 

  • Framed art or prints – A friend whose husband has a long-term health condition shared that he requested framed art and prints for his healing space. If you have kids or grandkids, asking them to draw or paint a picture is a creative way to get them involved.

  • Art kits or coloring books that support spiritual and emotional healing – Once your loved one is on the mend, they may not be ready to go out and run a marathon or hike the big one, but they may want to spend time fostering their creativity instead of just sitting in front of the TV or computer. What would bring out the kid in them? Or what creative endeavor have they not explored for a long time?

  • Sound healing instruments or recordings – You’ve no doubt heard or even sung lullabies to children to comfort them and help them sleep. Sound healing instruments such as metal singing bowls, known as Tibetan singing bowls; crystal singing bowls made from quartz crystal; gongs; Native American flutes; and even tuning forks help your loved ones experience less stress, sleep better, and possibly heal faster. Before my partial colectomy, one of my clients who is a world-renowned gong musician, sent me a meditation video she created for me filled with the powerful healing music she created. I am still grateful for her beautiful intention and powerful healing music.

  • Wind chimes – Another instrument of sorts, wind chimes also provide healing sounds in connection with the rhythm of the earth. You can find small or large ones suitable for a balcony apartment or large yard. You might even be able to hang one outside the window where your loved one will be recovering once they are home.

Tech and Connectivity Resources:

  • A box of cards – When your loved one is ready to get back in touch they may appreciate a box of cards and a book of stamps to go with it to connect with others without being online. Both my husband and I sent old-fashioned thank you cards to friends and family who’d supported us during our recoveries.

  • Kindle – The beauty of a Kindle or similar device that’s just for reading is that your loved one can read without being interrupted by apps such as those on their phones. They’re also light to hold, can be adjusted for different sight needs, and store just about as many books as you might want to read. And after I lost mine on a plane, I was grateful when my husband gave me one as a gift before my surgery. 

  • Kindle case – To keep your loved one’s Kindle safe, and to cheer them up a bit, you might consider a case that you know they’ll love. Perhaps one with an inspirational saying or a favorite character.

  • Headphones – My older daughter is an audio signals processing engineer with a major audio company, so we’ve had lots of discussion about noise canceling headphones. They’re not the only ones you can get for your loved one, but if your loved one will benefit from extra quiet while in the hospital, on a plane, or even if they’ll be around others in less than restful situations, headphones with a noise canceling feature may be helpful.

  • Zoom — Once your loved one is ready to get back in touch, if they don’t already have a Zoom account, they may appreciate your help getting it set up. The Basic Zoom account is free and is limited to 40 minutes. And FaceTime is a similar free option for those with iPhones.

  • Security Camera – You want your loved one to feel safe no matter where they are, and new cameras have the option of allowing your loved one or their caregiver to not only see who might be at the door, but to speak to them even if they’re away from home. For extra peace of mind, we installed cameras when we knew we were going to be away for surgeries and treatment for weeks at a time. 

  • Safety lights – I started bringing night lights in my luggage a few years ago and found them especially helpful when staying in an unfamiliar place after surgery. And at home, we installed extra lighting outside. You definitely don’t want your loved one to fall, inside or outside the home. An easy option to light walking paths to and from the car are solar charged path lights like these and motion detecting lights like these. 

  • Multiple plug-in charger – I also started carrying one of these in my luggage for the hospital, hotel, or wherever I’m staying. It seems there are never enough plugs to charge your devices or plug in needed lights, etc. Being in the hospital can be especially lonely after visiting hours, and these can help your loved one stay connected.

  • Gaia TV Subscription – Gaia’s focus is on conscious media topics such as alternative medicine, yoga, meditation, and teachers like Dr. Joe Dispenza, Dr. Deepak Chopra, and Caroline Myss. It helps me feed my soul and was one of the gifts I chose via an Amazon digital gift card and still use. If your loved one is of the conscious sort, they may appreciate a Gaia subscription.

  • FitBit – Once your loved one is feeling well enough to get out and walk, or even if they might want to keep track of their meditation practice, heart rate, steps or water intake, a health and fitness tracker like a FitBit or similar, may help motivate them to stay active and healthy. I use mine primarily to meet my step goal and increase my pace a little. Because I’m a small person, I like this one, which fits much better than larger smart watches and it’s only focus is fitness, so it’s not a distraction.

Holistic Spiritual Wellness:

  • Inspirational books and audios – What’s inspirational to your loved one will depend entirely on them. And you can support their emotional health with gifts of paper or digital books and digital audiobooks. If they have a library membership, most libraries also offer digital books and if they don’t know how to get them, you could offer to help them navigate the appropriate app.

  • Meditation apps – If your loved one is open to spending a few minutes each day listening to a guided visualization or focusing on their breathing, a meditation app can be a mood and health booster.

  • Live meditation or gathering (virtual or in-person) – The hospital where my husband’s surgery was did not allow visitors to stay anywhere other than the cafeteria. Since the surgery was 11 hours long, I chose not to do that. Instead, I went back to where I was staying and hosted a Zoom meditation circle for our family and friends that began at the time my husband’s surgery was scheduled to start. Although my husband wasn’t there physically, it was a support to all of us who were going through the experience of his surgery at a distance.

  • Meaningful personalized accessories – Before I had surgery, my sister-in-law crocheted a prayer shawl for me that I kept with me in the hospital. It was super helpful to keep my neck and shoulders warm where the hospital gown didn’t. And it reminded me that I was loved. What might you make or order for your loved one that’s personalized just for them?

  • Distance healing or energy work session – I first experienced energy work about three decades ago and have found it a powerful addition to traditional medicine, especially within a few days before and after surgery. I’ve worked with multiple practitioners from the Barbara Brennan School and you may find someone in your loved one’s local area or opt for a distance healing session for them. 

  • Pre-surgery retreat – When my doctor called to tell me I had tested positive for colon cancer, I was in Mexico at an energy worker’s retreat and opted to do a deep dive with plant medicine to better understand what I needed to learn from that God Spark (the term I use for the cancer I had). And a few days before surgery, I did another retreat to understand how to best work with the surgeons and heal my body. That was one of the most spiritually transformative experiences I’ve ever had and no doubt facilitated my quick physical recovery. Retreats are a personal experience, and not all are created equal. What type of experience would your loved one like to have? Not all retreats are spiritual and that’s not what everyone is looking for. Perhaps they’d like one that focuses on meditative walking, nutrition, journaling, or silence, etc. 

  • Post-surgery retreat – Once your loved one has had surgery and recovered physically, what would benefit them to continue their healing journey? Would they appreciate going someplace sunny and being on the beach? Would they like to focus on an artistic endeavor they haven’t for a long time? Would they like to challenge their body on a hiking retreat in the mountains? The possibilities are nearly endless.

Thoughtful Services and Support:

  • Baby sitting – Does your loved one need childcare help before, during, or after surgery? Can you provide this, either doing it yourself or hiring a vetted caregiver?

  • Pet sitting – Similarly, would your loved one heal faster having someone who could take care of their pets for a specified amount of time? 

  • Personal care – Are you available to stay with your loved one for a few hours or a few days to provide assistance with meals, getting to the bathroom, taking a walk, etc.?

  • Medication delivery – Could you pick up medications or other personal supplies for them that can’t be delivered? We could have used this after my husband’s (near) brain surgery. None of the pharmacies had drive-thrus and I couldn’t leave him alone, so when I picked him up to take him to the home stay we’d been gifted, he had to sit in the car in significant pain while I went into the pharmacy to get his medication. It took about 20 minutes, which honestly felt like forever, and I had to go back to the car multiple times to check on him because I was worried for his safety.

  • House cleaning – Could you arrange and pay for house cleaning (or do it yourself or with friends)? This can be one of the most important needs when a loved one goes through a significant illness.

  • Lawn care – Similarly, arranging and paying for lawn maintenance (or doing it yourself or with friends) relieves a lot of stress for your loved one. When we were out of town for my surgery, a friend from college paid for our lawn to be mowed before we came back, which was a huge gift because that meant my husband could focus on more important things when we returned home.

  • Help walking – One of the most important things your loved one needs to do after surgery is walk. And they’ll need help doing it. At first this may only be around the hospital corridor or at home for a few yards, before getting outside when they are able.

  • Personal service – For those who would appreciate a manicure, pedicure, massage, or some other service, this can be a special gift. It doesn’t have to cost a lot and can be a bonding experience. When my mother was in her final days at home with Hospice, I rubbed her feet with lotion and painted her nails. Physical touch, as long as it doesn’t cause pain, is incredibly healing. 

  • Furniture rental – Electric recliners or hospital beds are a few of the items that can make your loved one and their caregiver’s lives much easier and less painful. The very generous woman who offered us her home to stay in during my husband’s recovery also provided an electric recliner that was a bigger help than we ever imagined it could be. Because of the nature of his surgery, he got very little sleep and the sleep he did get was only while he was sitting up in that recliner. 

  • Checking in – What kind of support does your loved one want? This is entirely dependent upon your loved one and may change from day to day or minute to minute. Do they want in-person visits? Calls? Texts? Cards? Nothing at all? If they are too uncomfortable telling you what they need, their caregiver may have a good sense of what would be most supportive of them. 

  • Phone call assistance – Being a patient can feel like a full-time job. Not only are you healing, but there is a never-ending stream of communication that needs to be taken care of with doctor’s offices, insurance providers, medical equipment services, billing departments, etc. Even if your loved one needs to be there during the call, they may really appreciate your assistance. These are the kinds of things that take extra energy when your loved one is recovering and they may not think to ask for help with.

  • Electronic communication assistance – Just like the phone call assistance, your loved one may appreciate help with medical portals for communicating with providers, setting up appointments, follow-up surveys, etc. As an example, after surgery,  I received a surgical follow-up survey every 3 days for a month. And at the beginning,  it took what felt like an incredible amount of energy to complete them and having help with them would have been a blessing.

  • CaringBridge – CaringBridge is a website that helps keep your loved one’s friends and family updated with their medical situation in a more private way than other types of social media. I set one up when my husband was undergoing treatment. And I set one up for myself before I had surgery. With permission from your loved one, you could set up a CaringBridge for them and keep it updated so that others know what’s happening.

  • Stillness – Sitting quietly holding your loved one’s hands or rubbing their back is one of the easiest and perhaps most needed types of support. Talking often takes energy they don’t have. But simply being there may nourish them.

For those of you who’d like to make a gift basket for your loved one, here are a few ideas to get you started.

Gift Basket and Care Package Ideas:

Hospital Stay Basket: 

First Days At-home Care Package:

Final Thoughts:

Whether you’re curating a thoughtful gift basket, picking one meaningful item, or simply gathering inspiration, I hope this guide sparked hope for you.

Because truly—a gift is never just a gift. It’s a gesture of love, a thread of connection, a way to say “I see you… I love you.”

Thank you for walking this path with me. For giving from the heart. For being the light you are.

May you feel loved, always.

And Finally, a Note About Affiliate Links

Some of the links on this page are affiliate links, which means I may receive a small commission—at no additional cost to you—if you use them.

I only share resources I genuinely believe can bring comfort, nourishment, or healing during difficult times. If something here resonates and you feel drawn to use one of these links, please know how deeply grateful I am.

Each time you use a link, you’re supporting not just this page, but the deeper mission behind it: helping people feel seen, supported, and loved. You’re also helping sustain me as I continue offering this work while navigating my own medical challenges.

Thank you for being you.Big hugs,Angela

PS: Small bits of this text were assisted by AI and informed by my own experiences.

PPS: This is a work in progress. 🙂 If you’d like to share what’s worked for you or a loved one, or how this guide helped you, feel free to email me at angela@angelafanderson.com. And let me know if you’re open to me including your idea in the next update.

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